Red and Green
by Gamma Orionis
Summary: Song rewrite to Katy Perry's Hot and Cold. Written for the first round of Taragh McCarthy's 34 Stories Challenge on the HPFC Forum.


Author's Notes: Drabble. No real story, just a song rewrite for Katy Perry's _Hot 'n Cold_ with a little text on either end.

Written for the first round of Taragh McCarthy's 34 Stories challenge on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenge forum. Snape/Lily.

Apologies to Katy Perry.

I don't own this at all.

)O(

Severus Snape unfolded the letter that Lily had shoved into his hands. No boy in the world would want to get a break-up letter. But that was exactly what Severus had been given.

_You deserve it! You're stupid, stupid, stupid!_

What had he had to go and call Lily a Mudblood? He hadn't even meant it; he had just been angry and had lashed out.

_Stupid!_

He sat down by the lake, and stared at the letter without opening it.

_Don't be a coward, Severus_, he told himself. _Just read it quickly and get it over with_.

He raised his eyes to the sky, praying that this won't be too bad, and then unfolded the paper.

It was worse than he could have possibly imagined.

)O(

_Dear Severus,_

_I tried to think of a nice way to say this, but there just isn't one. So I figured that, after niceness, poetry is the next best thing. Severus, here's a little poem, a little song I wrote just for you._

_Red and Green_

_By Lily Evans_

_)O(_

_You are a jerk_

_I think that this should end._

_Yeah, leave me alone._

_You make a bad boyfriend._

_And you never think_

_About what you should say_

_And I know_

_That you're not nice to me._

_'Cause you're good then you're mean,_

_You're red then you're green,_

_You're fire then you're ice,_

_You're rotten, you're nice,_

_You call me bad names,_

_You play stupid games._

_Yeah, Potter's a rat_

_But you're just as bad!_

_You!_

_You try to say that you are good_

_You!_

_But you don't really want a Mud-blood!_

_Cause you're good then you're mean,_

_You're red then you're green,_

_You're fire then you're ice,_

_You're rotten, you're nice!_

_We used to be_

_The best friends in the world._

_Plain as one-two-three:_

_I loved you, you loved me._

_Used to talk 'bout magic_

_Now I see you're a d…_

_And I don't have to put up with this…_

_'Cause you're good then you're mean,_

_You're red then you're green,_

_You're fire then you're ice,_

_You're rotten, you're nice,_

_You call me bad names,_

_You play stupid games._

_Yeah, Potter's a rat_

_But you're just as bad!_

_You!_

_You try to say that you are good_

_You!_

_But you don't really want a Mud-blood!_

_Cause you're good then you're mean,_

_You're red then you're green,_

_You're fire then you're ice,_

_You're rotten, you're nice!_

_I'll go out with Potter!_

_Couldn't care less what you thought, or_

_Wanted! Thought you got her?_

_Please go off and die!_

_You are a jerk_

_I think that this should end…_

_'Cause you're good then you're mean,_

_You're red then you're green,_

_You're fire then you're ice,_

_You're rotten, you're nice,_

_You call me bad names,_

_You play stupid games._

_Yeah, Potter's a rat_

_But you're just as bad!_

_You're good then you're mean,_

_You're red then you're green,_

_You're fire then you're ice,_

_You're rotten, you're nice,_

_You call me bad names,_

_You play stupid games._

_Yeah, Potter's a rat_

_But you're just as bad!_

_You!_

_You try to say that you are good_

_You!_

_But you don't really want a Mud-blood!_

_Cause you're good then you're mean,_

_You're red then you're green,_

_You're fire then you're ice,_

_You're rotten, you're nice!_

_)O(_

_So, I think that pretty much sums it up. That's why I'm not going to go out with you, Severus. Goodbye. I won't be talking to you anymore._

_Sincerely,_

_Lily._

)O(

Snape stared at the letter, then crumpled it into a ball. Was there any other way Lily could break up with him that would hurt quite that much?

No.

He threw the letter as hard as he could, and it landed in the lake. A tentacle reached up and dragged the paper underwater.

Many years later, a young American named Katy Hudson found a rather water-damaged letter on her local California beach. She read the letter, rewrote the poem in it, changed her name, and went on to be a famous singer.

)O(

_Fin_


End file.
